Sharing an Experience Close to My Heart

Conversation about Mens Roles

I too have felt that the world has degraded the status of man to that of a bumbling baboon for quite some time now.

We are portrayed as boys with nothing more than more expensive toys and tossed aside as simple minded with only one thing on our minds.

Could it be that we are less simple and more single mined. We tend to focus on the task at hand whatever it may be. This is part of our psyche to help us get through the tough times of battle or the hum drum of everyday labors to support those we love.

I know this can be a touchy subject so I will not say too much. I just would ask anybody who may read this post to contemplate what is said, for there is truth in it based on a clear understanding of how un-simple the male of the species really is. We really are conscientious in our duties, especially to our families. We speak to languages, both the spoken word and the language of action, and it is that action which is most often un-noticed.

Wives, please watch your husband a little closer. Unless he is a truly selfish person, (And there are some out there.) just about everything a man does is done for the people he cares about. When we go fishing or hunting, we are honing skills intended to feed and sustain, the list can go on and on.

Now, to be fair, yes, there are men out there who have given the rest of us a bad name. All we ask is that we be judged individually on our own merits. We are not going to always feel a need to explain ourselves for in all honesty; we find it hard at times to justify our sense of duty. Please, be patient with the silent part of us and speak softly and you will get the answers you are looking for without the excuses we tend to give when put on the spot.


I apologize if anything I have said may have offended anybody. I have been married 16 years and I Love my Wife dearly. I would without hesitation give my life to keep her safe. I honor her Womanhood and the uniqueness that is her as I honor all good Women.


It is only when we can comprehend the true purpose of each, both male and female can we all begin to experience the harmony that God intends.


Because I felt so strongly about this post I asked my wife of 16 years to read it too because I wanted to know her feelings and opinion on the matter.
When she read it and then read my initial response she proceeded to pull out her journal from a couple of years ago and shared with me the following entries, and then asked me to share it with all of you…

Excerpts from my wife Anita’s Journal dated April 2006:

At about 3:00 am this morning our daughter asked Lee for a blessing. She was feeling very depressed about the loss of her husband about a year before.
She later shared with me the experience she had before, during and after she received this blessing. She said that she had been feeling a dark and heavy presence when she called us asking for a priesthood blessing. As she waited for us to come down stairs she saw the outline of a man and an incredible fear that dissipated the moment Lee and I came down the stairs.
Then she described a powerful experience while receiving her blessing. She described images of seeing her departed husband standing next to Lee while he spoke and could feel the Savior’s love as if he were hugging her. She said she felt the presence of angels and finally felt safe. In the blessing it was also said that our family was being hit hard by the adversary because we are becoming who we are meant to be. And that the Lord was aware of those struggles and is with us, with her…
She expressed to me how grateful she was to have a priesthood holder in her life. Sharing her experience with me touched my heart and I finally saw my husband through my daughter’s eyes. I felt the spirit testifying to me the truthfulness of her experience and the depth of her gratitude. I saw my husband in a completely different “LIGHT”.
This was powerful for me because we had been seeing a marriage counselor up to this point to resolve a lot of issues. This experience helped me to finally see my husband not for his imperfections or his shortcomings, but for who he is capable of becoming. I was able to see him for who he really is a, son of God, a holder of his Priesthood.
As a divorcee with 6 children I couldn’t believe he married me let alone took me to the temple. For years I struggled with the pain my former husband put me through being unfaithful and abusive. I had also been through abusive situations with my step-father and so put a lot of those mistakes on Lee’s shoulders. I couldn’t believe he might be capable of being better than they were, I was so afraid of being hurt again.
I cried as I told him how sorry I was for holding onto things and being so disrespectful in the things I had said and done to him in the past. I felt I had hurt him in unforgivable ways. To my surprise he held me as I cried being sorry for pain I had caused him, kissing me and saying how much he loved me and expressed forgiveness and apologized as well for his own mistakes. He held me close letting me cry and for the first time in our 14 years of marriage I felt peace with my husband.
…End Journal excerpt.

My wife also asked me to include the following comments…

As a woman I ask myself, “Why is this a touchy subject?” Could it be we have embraced too much the worldly notions of feminism? Do we need to belittle or demean the men in our lives in order to feel better about ourselves?
It is a sad day indeed when we have to question respecting the God given roles of Men, Husbands and Fathers. We are all children of a Father in Heaven, a being whom each man is capable of becoming like. We can help them become the greatest of who they really are.
The scriptures say we cannot have a fullness of joy without that most important of relationships, that of husband and wife. There is no room to waiver in this we cannot truly serve as daughters of God if we continue to embrace these worldly views.
The scriptures ask, “Choose you this day whom ye will serve….as for me and my family we will serve the Lord…” For me the choice is easy.
...End Comments

In the 2 years since her journal entry, though we are both far from perfect by any means, we have both come to know a greater peace in our relationship and our lives together because we have both strived to encourage and enhance each others unique qualities.
“ Battle of the sexes”, it never needs to be a battle if we can come to understand the unique roles we all play, both male and female. This is, I believe a very important precept our Father in heaven wants us to learn as husbands and wives, fathers and mother and yes, brothers and sisters.

Update: I still feel this way. Why do we feel the need to belittle men, fathers, husbands? I am far from perfect and yes, my husband and I still have our weak moments when we argue. But it does not change how we feel about each other, it does not change my respect for him. I love my husband very much and he is one spiritual man, hasn't always been, but he has grown a lot and so have I. This life would not be worth it if we didn't grow, if we stayed the same. There is no need for division in a family, in a marriage.