Lately, I have been doing a lot of reflecting about my life and those of my children. About my testimony, how I used to ask to no one in particular what I was I meant for in this life? Why am I here? Where did I come from? Where am I going? What is my purpose?
When I had the opportunity to hear the missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I just knew this is where all those answers were going to be answered. I had this amazing burning feeling in my heart and as the feeling of peace washed over me as they were explaining to me about families be SEALED TOGETHER FOREVER was the clincher for me. I knew it, to the very deep core of my soul, that I wanted that for my children, for my family. I wanted them to know that they had a purpose in life, to love, and return to Heavenly Father.
I have had the unfortunate experience to grow up in a family where there was abuse and love not readily given. But you know I never would have asked those questions about life if I hadn't gone through those experiences. I would have not known what I did when I heard from the missionaries that that is what I was looking for. I was looking for my place in the world. I was looking for a change, to be a better mother, person, woman in my life.I wanted something better for me and my family. And I wonder....WAS IT ENOUGH???
Did I share my love of my Savior to my children, did I share my testimony enough, did I teach them what I was meant to as a woman of God, a daughter of God, so that they would remember who they are.
I pray it was and if not, I pray Heavenly Father forgives me. My heart aches when my children are in pain, when they don't live the gospel principles, when they don't share their own testimonies in their own lives. I pray fervently that one day ALL my children will find their testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel for themselves the way I did.
